All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?
Eleanor Rigby By The Beatles
Loneliness is a very real epidemic that threatens to ruin our very structure of society. As more and more Millennials refuse to have committed relationships, and an ever growing number of older adult that are widows, separated, or divorced the plague spreads across all age groups and social standings. This problem has led millions to believe that some form of media is their only companionship. While having thousands of friends on the internet people have never been lonelier.
I do understand the difficult struggle with loneliness. By no choice of my own I was separated from my wife, kids, and home. I found myself suddenly lonely and T.V. and the internet quickly became my only friends. I had hundreds of friends from all over the world, but once I logged off I felt empty. My life had become a daily routine of go to work, watch T.V., internet chat, and go to bed. The sad thing was, what was the point of life if I had no one to share my life with.
The misery from loneliness develops from the following reasons:
You fear being alone so you over compensate in social settings and relationships and you inadvertently push people away from you.
You have not lived a perfect life and your guilt traps you, isolating you away from people.
You have always felt like the outsider, so you do not try to reach out to people. “Nobody thinks about me.”
You have difficulty communicating with others so you never really connect with them.
You fear the pain of letting people get close to you. You cannot allow them to hurt you.
You have experienced a dramatic change to your life: Health problem, Divorce, or Death of a spouse, child, friend, pet. The pain has crippled you socially.
You agonize over a severe offence (criminal) or abuse (sexual, physical) that has caused you to isolate yourself.
You suffered a change in your appearance (scars, weight gain, skin outbreak) that make you feel unacceptable to others. “I look hideous.”
You have unresolved issues with a person or a group and you are too angry or too embarrassed to face anyone.
You are too busy, you do not have the time to develop relationships. You are never close to anyone, so you are lonely in those quite times at home.
You must be in control, everything must be done your way even in your relationships. One by one you drive people away. If all you care about is yourself, eventually that is all you have – yourself.
One thing is for certain in life is that how you think of yourself is what you put out there for others to see, soon they begin to think of you the same way you think of yourself. “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he . . .” (Proverbs 23:7)
How to Combat Loneliness
The loneliness may be a just a feeling you have but not the actual truth. If you stop and think about it you have more friends or family that would be more interested in you if you were to reach out to them more often.
Volunteer, even if you do not feel like it, your assistances for places or organizations where there are groups of people to socialize with.
Stop your negative self-talk. Stop telling yourself that you are a loser, fat, ugly, stupid, and etc. That type of talk will stop you from reaching out to others because you already feel unworthy of their time or friendship. If you project that feeling, then others will be uncomfortable around you.
Stop negative complaining. People do not enjoy being with a negative person. If you complain a great deal others look at you as an annoyance or worse a hateful person.
Change some of your routines. Do not just stay at home. Try new things, new places, and new people. Place yourself where you will be around or run into people.
Maybe get a second job, especially one that involves costumer service. That is what I did, I worked part time in a video rental store.
Develop a desire to be more focused on the needs of others. Your kindness toward others will go a long way of bringing you out of your shell.
Find other lonely people (nursing home for example) and spend time with them, you will make each other a little less lonely. That is what I did I volunteered for a nursing home.
Wherever you are interact with people as often as you can. Say, “Hello” How are you?” etc. If you know them better as them, “How was your weekend?” or “How was your evening?”
Smile more.
Get a pet. You will not believe how a little dog or cat can change your mindset.
What the Bible has to Say about Loneliness:
God knows it is not good for our well-being to be alone.
“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; . . . (Genesis 2:18)
God knows we all need each other to get through this life.
. . . I will make him an help meet for him.” (Genesis 2:18)
“Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)
God knows how important family is to each of us.
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)
God’s cure for Loneliness:
- Love others.
- Kindness to strangers.
- Help those in need.
- Get Married.
- Do not live a selfish life.
- God promises to never leave you alone.
- God promises to mend your broken heart.
- God cares.
“Let brotherly love continue. Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. Remember them that are in bonds, as bound with them; and them which suffer adversity, as being yourselves also in the body. Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” (Hebrews 13:1-5)
“He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)
“Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” (1Peter 5:7)
“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” (Isaiah 41:10)