(The hook up culture)
“You just learn to become kind of like a frat bro and just go out looking for someone to xxxx.” Now she doesn’t want to date; she wants to have sex, which thanks to the fact that she is cute and vivacious, she seems to do quite frequently. “My friends and I are like sexual vultures. We just go out and hunt for the guy that we're going to get with. Like, my pheromones are insane right now.” Her current tally of men she’s slept with is 29, though she wouldn’t say she has dated any of them. “I don't want to use the word ‘date,’” she sniffs. “I say, like, ‘We talked.’” RollingStone.com
61% of millennials have had sex by the age of 18.
60% of college students have sex once a week.
What happens in the privacy of a cell phone or computer can affect everyone in the family.
Most kids are first exposed to porn at less than 11 years of age.
An unsolicited image is the beginning of a long battle with porn addiction.
1 in 5 children ages 10-17 have been approached for sex online.
57% of kids have accidentally accessed inappropriate material online.
75% of these young people do not tell their parents about these incidents.
The porn industry is now the 7th largest industry in the U.S.
The biggest change in our culture is not that more people are consenting in premarital sex, it is that they are agreeing to intercourse prior to a relationship. There is no more dating instead there is the FREE sex hook up. This is most personal of all the indulgences that many call, “The secret sin”. The theory is that the “Hook up” will be free of guilt, emotions, and commitments. Just one crazy fun night.
For many this the act provides them a sort of release for their stress while others use sex as a leisure activity. But overall the sex is a substitution for something real or imagine they are missing in their lives. For most hook up males the sex is not as important as it is the thrill to control and conquer. For most hook up females the sex is not as important as it is the feeling of being wanted, or not being alone. And while sex may bring a temporarily achievement of their desired objective the induvial is left with a life full of guilt, shame, relationship problems, social problems, and some physical problems. 72% of all college hook ups end in some type of negative emotional or mental difficulties. They feel unhappy, empty, lonely and confused about love.
Hook up sex creates many victims: strangers, family, friends, co-workers, and even their church. The people involved in the hook up are even victimizing themselves, defiling the very body which God gave them using it as an instrument of unrighteousness instead of an instrument of righteousness. Instead of using their bodies to the glory of God, they will use their body for self-gratification. 1Corinthians 6:13 Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. 1Corinthians 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. 1Corinthians 6:20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.
God is the creator of sex, but He also set limits for the enjoyment of sex. Those limits are for your protection. When you go outside of those restrictions you endanger: your relationships, your health, your mental wellbeing, and your spiritual live. The only real solution for the person with an immoral problem is to turn from a dependence on their sexual desires to a dependence on God. They must take a definite stand against using their body for their own selfish pleasures and instead using it for the glory of God. Get into God’s Word and Prayer time daily and strengthen up for what is sure to be fight with yourself and the devil.
The Problem with the Hook Up Culture
The REGRET. The greater the regret, the great the feeling of loneness. Shame.
The MENTAL ISSUES. There are negative emotional and mental problems. Fear of never finding or knowing love. Some lead to a wide range of unhealthy thoughts about sex. From sex is evil and wrong to sexual violence. Anxious and depressed. Suicidal. Low Self-esteem.
The RISK. Rape, Sexually transmitted infections, Pregnancy. HIV, Syphilis, Herpes.
The HARM To RELATIONSHIPS. It can decrease your ability to be close to others. You will lose the feelings for romance. It causes disrespect and detachment.
The ISOLATION. A very lonely person.
The FINANCIAL. The loss of one's job, getting sued over sexual harassment or sexual abuse charges resulting in legal fees. Purchasing pornographic material, use of prostitutes, calling 900 phone numbers and traveling for the individual purpose of sexual contacts can create enormous debt in credit card bills and exhaust the financial resources.
The LEGAL Arrest and incarceration from an out of control lifestyle engaging in high risk, illegal activities such as voyeurism, exhibitionism, inappropriate touching and the solicitation of prostitutes.
How to overcome the “Hook Up” addiction
Staying busy with friends, family and church.
Scheduling other gratifying activities or fun outings.
Take up a new hobby to replace the time: exercising, reading, volunteering, or others.
Enlisting the assistance of a friend, family member or spouse to maintain accountability.
Learn how to face and correctly reduce the stress, tensions and problems in your life.
Carry out your responsibilities in the relationships you are in.
Enjoy the similarities you have with your spouse, not the differences.
Do not use sex with your spouse as a fantasy reliever. (Acting out your past porn viewing)
Remember sex is for personal affection between you and your spouse. Do not damage your relationship by neglecting your spouse of that affection.
Allow your spouse or family to know your passwords. (Phone, Computer, Tablet)
Rearrange your life: stop going to certain places, do not be alone with certain people, do not be alone with your computer, do not be alone home when possible, do not drive/walk that way home anymore.
Change your environment: Desktop backgrounds of your spouse or family, throw away/delete certain music, wear different clothes, wear pajamas to bed, stop watching certain movies, throw away or delete pictures/postures/calendars.
See the opposite sex as people and talk to them eye-to-eye, don't look them over. Listen to their conversation and not allow your mind to wonder to lustful thoughts.
Take care of little things you did not think you had time to do before. Make a list and do them when you feel the sexual urge.
Work on your dating life by finding more positive ways to interact with potential partners.
Display more none sexual affection to your spouse.
Display more affection to your family or friends.
Set up parental controls on your internet browser, and have someone else put in the password for you.
Daily reading of God’s word.
Daily prayer.
Fellowship with other believers in and outside of church.
What does the Bible say about Christians and sex?
We are to abstain from fornication. (Galatians 5:19, 1 Corinthians 7:2, 36)
We are to abstain from adultery. (Exodus 20:14, Matthew 5:27)
We are to abstain from homosexuality. (Leviticus 18:22, Romans 1:26-27)
We are to abstain from bestiality. (Leviticus 18:23, 20:15-16)
We are to abstain from prostitution. (Leviticus 19:29, Deuteronomy 23:17, Proverbs 23:27, 1 Corinthians 6:15-16)
We are to abstain from incest. (Leviticus 18:6)
We are to have sex only in marriage. (Matthew 19:4-5, 1 Timothy 3:2, 12)
We are expected to lovingly meet the sexual needs of our spouse. (1 Corinthians7:3-5)
We are to love and respect for your spouse. (Ephesians 5:29, 33)
We are not live as carnal or fleshly Christians. (Romans 8:8, 13)
We are to run from sexual sin. It is harmful to your body. (1 Corinthians 6:18)
We are to keep our marriage pure. (Hebrews 13:4 whoremonger: sexually immoral, Proverbs 5:15, 18-19)
We are to keep our Christian testimony intact. (1 Timothy 4:12, Matthew 5:13, Luke 14:34-35)
We are to deaden ourselves from sexual immorality. (Colossians 3:5)
We are to abstain from talking or jesting about sexual immorality. (Ephesians 5:3,4)
We are to search for what is good not what is evil. (Amos 5:14, 15, Psalm 101:3)
We are not to use God’s body for sexual immorality. (1 Corinthians 6:13, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5)
We are not to gratify ourselves. (Romans 6:12-14 members: body parts)